i don't usually like to broadcast my feelings out here like this, but here it goes.

i am lost now. lost from love. i was in love, once. it was beautiful, strong, and powerful. that sort of power left me with a true, deep happiness. when it was ripped from me, it took a large chunk of my heart with it. the chunk of my heart that was capable of love.

now i am lost again, flirting and seeing where life will take me. meeting all sorts of new people, new types and new styles. for now this is where my life is, and i know i won't always be here. i want my wounds to heal, and i want my heart to be the way it used to be. strong and willing to give all it can... i did that, and it left me in a horrible place at the end. i am still afraid.

those of you who think i have it all, who think i am happy and popular, please realize that inside i am sad and lost, just like everyone else is.

slowly i am rebuilding myself into the me that i have always wanted to be; and while i am at it, i am enjoying having so many new people in my life to touch me, and to expose me to new emotions and experiences. my new friends are golden friends, and i hope to never lose you; you've been with me at my weakest.

so while my heart is healing, i am lost. i am exploring... and don't try to run in and "save me"; healing and growing as a person is something i need to do on my own. to the one who had my heart, thank you for giving me the happiness that only true love can offer, and thank you for being a best friend, and a wonderful lover. thank you for the gift of memories, thank you for the gift of new experiences... thank you for the gift of love. i hope you remember me as a good thing.

when i am healed, i will be waiting for love again.


the greatest love of all must be the love for yourself.

this is the only time i have shared my feelings this way in a long, long time. i hope you will respect it all... my friends!

love, love, love, love love love! makes the world go 'round. right?